i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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