That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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