I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
