Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
