he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
