worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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