I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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