she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize