he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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