Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
