if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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