I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
