So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
