mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
