i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
