I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
