I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
