Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
