Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
