He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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