Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
