i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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