I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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