i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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