The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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