I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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