we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
