just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
