Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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