i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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