i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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