Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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