You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
