Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i can't wait to go to hell

(1-248): View more from Michigan

yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure

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(512): View more from Texas

clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.

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(734): View more from Michigan

We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."

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(808): View more from Hawaii

No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break

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(410): View more from Maryland

SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING

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(816): View more from Missouri

Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️

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