And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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