I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
