I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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