lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
