i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize
