Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
