I think i peed on brittanys purse
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
