that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
