Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
