Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
