Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
