Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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