I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
