So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
