She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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