I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
