Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
