Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
