we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
only if we run a train.
done.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
