Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
