I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
