I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
