I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
