I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
4 words: hood of his car
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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