I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
