im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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