drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
