I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
