i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
