so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
