She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
