i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
