did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
